Summer heat
You golden boy, so full of summers heat and youthful ardour breaking out in flame fanned urgently by thoughts of me, the cheat. Beware young man, take care: its me theyll blame. Admiring you, I hardly...
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Hello Multo,Welcome! You've got the knack, and your punchline is primo. I hope we'll be seeing a lot from you. If you're lucky, others will offer in-depth critiques. I don't claim any expertise, but I...
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I burned with every glance, heats in your touch >>>had a little trouble going from 'glance' to 'heat's'maybe shore this up a little?We must not think of that hot summers day Id better love...
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Thank you Broken Sword. Your comment about the verbal proximity of 'glance' to 'heat's' is a good one. I wonder if punctuation would do the trick here - I know what you mean.Sorry to be dense, but...
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What a lovely welcome. Thank you for your kind words. Your punctuation suggestions are spot on! I've taken a note to incorporate them in my original. Much appreciated. There are some wonderful sonnets...
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Hi, Multo,Welcome out here!Just read your sonnet and it looks great.Only one critique:'my every limb beguiled with languid need'.'languid' seems to be pretty in vogue. [irony] To me it doesn't work in...
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Oh happy day -- finally a question I can address, having asked it myself shortly after my arrival here. Notice I didn't say answer, because I'm still not completely sure I have come to my own terms...
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Dear Multo,Read your sonnet and I thought the imagery was overpowering. This is a beautiful love sonnet. I read the other critiques, especially with respect to the couplet. We must not think of that...
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Hello Multo.This is an excellent Shakespearean sonnet, structurally nearly perfect.I love the theme: the older woman tempted by the young Adonis. A fine echo of Shakespeare, and the couplet is spot...
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Mary: as soon as I've finished writing this I'll go and have a look at your link. Many thanks! You don't know how much there is to learn until you ask a question - do you!!Tamara: now there was an...
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Multo,I wish I had an intelligent comment but I don't. I thought I would tell you that I keep coming back to this and enjoye it better every time. I have much to learn,Melissa
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Melissa: Thank you for your lovely comments. I was also grateful to hear you were stuck for words - me too...I look at these great sonnets on this board and find it really difficult to add things. I'm...
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